Had to say goodbye for a while to my favorite pair of casual heels this morning.  I put them on, and immediately started to tip over.  Dang it.  That is NOT a good thing.  I am holding tight (literally and figuratively) to my mules, but they may go the way of my heels soon, if I can't grip them with my toes.

This is an interesting disease, in how it progresses even while you live your life as you always have.  I guess all diseases are like that, although with ALS you really don't have any treatment, so it seems like you have even less control than you would over, say, cancer.  They all stink, frankly, so I guess it's a moot point.

Off to work, on the second rainy day in a row.  Fall has definitely arrived.  The rain and clouds actually seem restful and comforting.  For now, that is.  I will still relish sunny blue skies!

The little things in life

Okay, perhaps only a woman with ALS would be writing about this, but I just finished coloring my hair (I  used to say "dyeing," but a college girl told me you only dye Easter eggs!), and as I did it, I realized this may be the very last time I can use my hands in this way.  Each day my right hand challenges me a little more, and I have 28 shampoos to go!  Will my right still be operative for such important activities in 46 days?  (Yes, I admit, I shampoo every other day.)

Now, as tongue in cheek as the above is, I still pondered that, and it is just another things that I realize will be a memory soon. 

Like driving a car.  I was driving yesterday, and while I am still fully capable (well, capable), I know that eventually my right leg will not be able to press the accelerator, and I will be done.  That cannot happen prior to October 24th!  I need to be able to drive to Great Falls to catch a plane to San Francisco to join my college girl friends Cathy, Kristin, and Caty (great alliteration!) to tour California's wine country and visit spas.  No ALS will stop that from happening!!

Off to work on a beautiful last day of summer in north-central Montana.  Life is good.

And my hair is colored!

September is waning

Havre has had a very warm September, but everyone says we'll have an open, very cold winter.  For those who don't know, open means little snow.  I know that I prefer it to be VERY snowy if it's going to be cold!  I may change my mind if ALS makes it too hard to maneuver in snow.  That will be a sad day.

Oh, no, I said each day is joyful! 

I am definitely feeling progression.  I seem to be losing touch with my right hand.  That is pretty annoying, but as long as I can type and play the piano, I won't complain about a little weakness.   I do tend to lurch about as though I am drunk, and no, I am NOT!  :) 

We had a beautiful storm and rainbow last evening.  The sun shone through the heavy rain for a most wonderful effect.  Here is the best picture we could get.  Thanks, Caroline; I had raw chicken on my hands at the time.  Thanks, Dolan, for drawing our attention to it!

 

Rainbows are signs of hope.  That is something we hold tight to at this point, but even if our hope does not come to fruition, the end does not worry me.  The in-between part might be a bit hairy...

Life is good, despite shooters in D.C., car bombs in Iraq, and all the other pain we inflict on one another.  It's still a good thing to be here and be loved.

Little goodbyes

Last night I broke my absolutely favorite, hand-made ceramic mug.  It was a great shape, fit my hand perfectly, and was a lovely shade of grayish brown accented by a forest green.  I knocked it off the shelf while getting other, much less valuable, mugs down to take to work.  I just said, "no no no I am so sad" as I looked at its shattered remains.

And then I thought, "really?"  It's a mug.  An object.  Am I that careful with my children?  How many times have my words broken them?  In the circumstances, things mean very little.  People mean everything.

Once again, perspective jumps in to save the day, and my composure.


I still loved that mug, though.  :(

Labor Day thoughts

Spent Saturday evening enjoying the University of Montana Griz take on Appalachian State Mountaineers.  Great game, and the Griz are back in their old form.  Should be a good year, and that means a lot to Paul and many others in Griz Nation.

Sunday morning breakfast at The Shack in Missoula sitting at an outside table.  So nice on a cool morning; felt like I was in the big city (but quieter and cleaner!).  Another wonderful experience.

Paul, Caroline and I headed down the Bitterroot Valley, visited my organic farm area (was it really almost 30 years ago I was an apprentice there?), and marveled over the changes to the valley.  Then we cut across to Wisdom, and had a lovely visit with dear friends.  The Tinsleys are wonderful hosts!  But I still should have cashed out my keno winnings at $6! :)

Ended Sunday night with Belfry family in Opportunity.  [If you want to read about this interesting community, I suggest the following book: http://www.amazon.com/Opportunity-Montana-Copper-American-Landscape/dp/0807003298]  My sister-in-law has severe rheumatoid arthritis, and when I think what she goes through every moment of her life, I can place my situation in perspective.  We all need to find cures!

 

Here back in Havre with Paul, Caroline, and Dolan.  I am so blessed to have my family, and know that whatever the end result is, I have had such a good ride in this life.  I have no complaints, no regrets.

One final thought:  Let's remember what this day stands for: celebrating the laboring class of America.  Labor is the backbone of our capitalist system, and we forget that at our own peril.