We are not atheists, if only because of our life-long participation in the Catholic Church. I know I have questioned the Church at different periods in my life, but I always believe there is a greater power than us. I have come to a place of peace with my relationship with the Church.
With that said, I am unsure what awaits me sooner rather than later. Paul and I discussed whether there actually could be a Hell. As he said, it's hard to believe God would throw us down to burn in a fiery furnace for eternity. And if God would, how does He chose? I cannot believe I am so pure that I get a free pass to Heaven, but even so, a direct flight to Hell seems a bit unfair. If Hell exists, then I assume some really bad players are in there: Pol Pot, Stalin, Hitler, Himmler....people who chose to do evil things. Do I belong there alongside them? I think not! Are there circles of Hell, like Dante postulated? Then you could envision sorting.
So then, if not Hell, Heaven. Okay, that's a pleasant option. I really can't see it, though, not as I can see reincarnation, or simply nothingness. Uncounted billions of humans have tread this path before me. As an environmentalist, I cannot imagine God not recycling souls through reincarnation. That seems most likely. Nothingness doesn't scare me, but it's kind of sad nonetheless. If we spend time trying to determine the meaning of life, to simply cease to exist seems a cruel trick.
So Paul and I think Heaven, or someplace, exists where all of us go. Even the bad players go there. It's like my former pastor said: No sin is too great for God to forgive. That should comfort us all.
Hi Pam,
ReplyDeleteBeen checking your blog for quite a while now. I tried posting comments in the past, but I don't think they ever registered, maybe some sort of (in)capability of my previous ISP, but more likely some sort of my (in)capability! Anyway, I retired on Dec 31, we moved to Helena Jan 1, I now have a google account that I hope will allow me to post comments. We live one block west of Jefferson Elementary. Having a partial family gathering in Havre late June, hope to see you then. All the best- Pat Clancey
Hey, Pat!
DeleteGood to hear from you! Do you live on Broadway? We have such wonderful memories of 802 Broadway.
Hope to see you when you're in Havre.
We live about ½ block south of Broadway, on South Alta. I've been trying to remember which of those places was yours. Now I know the address. I can see about ½ of the capital dome from upstairs in our house, some night I'll have to go over to Jefferson school and cut down a couple trees that are obstructing my view....
DeletePam HilleryApril 23, 2016 at 9:44 AM
DeleteI remember talking to a resident of the street behind Jefferson while Dolan played on the school playground. He was upset about the row of trees that had been planted. Said it would ruin his view. So you're not alone!
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Pam, I heard about your diagnosis back in 2013 from my good friend Debbie H. I was devastated and hoped there might be an opportunity to see you again sometime. THe last time was at a Griz Tailgate after one of our UM Student Affairs committee meetings. I was so impressed by your drive back then.
ReplyDeleteThose meetings were discontinued after that, but I have had a chance to see Teresa Branch a few times since, at football games. She will retire this year.
When I found out about your blog, after reading that awesome article about you in today's Tribune, I had to read it. You are amazing.
I have told Debbie, how lucky Havre has been to have you and Paul become members of the community. You are such strong advocates!
Margaret Kucera & her family are good friends of my middle brother. What a small world it is, when these connections are made.
I think about Stephen Hawking, who has lived over 50 years with this disease. I keep hoping there will be a way for you to hang in there, as you have so much left to give. Like him, your mind continues to work hard.
I haven't had an occasion to visit Havre since 2012. We moved my parents to Helena, so there really isn't a connection for me any longer. But I have continued to think about you and Paul since our time on the Student Affairs Advisory committee ended and continue to wish you all the best.
Margaret Woo
Margaret, so nice to hear from you! I always enjoyed our visits. It's so amazing how people know each other everywhere!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would like just my mind to live, even if full communication is possible. I am ready to go when I can no longer swallow. I want to run, garden, hike, all the active stuff. I don't relish this confined life.
We will enjoy each day, though. Life is good.
Oh Pam, I totally understand. The sedentary life is not for me, either. But, like you, I have high hopes for the right outcome in November, and you should be here for it.
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