The Two-faced God, Janus

December 31st. Staying up til midnight was such a thrill when we were young, but as we age and stay up late for so many reasons, it seems contrived to stay up for one specific night. So here I am in bed at 11:19, but likely I will be awake at midnight regardless. Will I see the entry of another new year?

Worked for pay for the last time today, even though everyone else had already gone home. I had to clean out my things in any event, and send a last email as a means of exerting control past my retirement. Similar to wanting to plan my funeral details; exerting control from the grave!

So 2016 will dawn, and I will enter a fourth year of ALS. If I can hold on another 2-1/2 years I will see Caroline graduate. Much will be discovered at the ALS clinic a week from today. If my breathing isn't too compromised, perhaps I can make it to 2018. It doesn't really seem so far away when I think of it, but if I consider how I have deteriorated over this past year, and project ahead, then it doesn't seem like I'll make it through this coming year without resorting to invasive medical help.

Life is good, though. My brother and his family came to visit from California the last two days. (Who leaves California in late December to visit north central Montana?) we enjoyed chatting and had a great evening that stretched past midnight yesterday playing games. I really value the family I was born into, and the legacy of love and support our parents left us.