When I started this blog in 2013, newly diagnosed, I resolved to live each day joyfully. In doing that, I would be strong and face this disease with grace. Now, as my condition worsens day to day, and I feel weaker, I either have to admit I'm not strong, which is the core of my being, or not get the emotional and physical help I need desperately.
I don't want to prolong this existence. Having to ask for food, drink, range of motion exercises, to get out of bed, dressed, all the things that everyone else I know takes for granted, doesn't make me ask "why me?" but does raise the question "how long?"
I feel weak putting this dilemma in writing, but I have to put it out there so people understand I am no longer the strong person I purported to be. Definitely on the horns of my dilemma. Admit weakness and lose more of my sense of self than I already have, or not admit it and lose the help I need.
Obviously, once again in my life, pride goeth before a fall.
You'd think I would've figured it out by now!!
Just by sharing your dilemma you showed me once again how very strong you are, indeed.
ReplyDeleteGloria, thank you for always saying something to brighten my day!
DeleteThank you again and again for sharing your thoughts. Admitting weakness is not letting go of your strength. Remember how much you are loved and how many people are willing to share in your life as it is being presented.
ReplyDeleteDebi, as I said last night, even when I don't see you, I am strengthened by your loving friendship. 💕
ReplyDelete